1. A guy who hates the sound of computer keys clicking falls in love with a girl in the computer class he dreads.
2. A guy walks into his new class full of computers, holding his schedule. Immediately he hears all of the keys on the computer clicking and freaks out. The teacher points him out to a seat. He focuses in on the keys clicking and awkwardly tries to look away towards the door to distract himself. He sees an attractive girl and a leitmotif plays. The girl sits at some computers with flatter keyboards, behind the boy. The boy looks over awkwardly, she returns his gaze, so he looks away. She then notices how much the keyboards next to him bother him, so she commands him to sit next to her, moving the person next to her to his seat. She exaggeratedly taps the keys and says that “See, this isn’t so loud. Get over it. You got OCD or something?” He laughs nevrvously and begins to try tapping the keys. “I’d tap that” he says with a creepy smile. “That’s about all you’re getting” she says, pointing to the keyboard. He gives an awkward yet creepy smile.
3. This film shows character through the sound design with the main character being described by his annoyance about keyboard clicking noises; the story and the change in the main character is catalyzed by sound. Also, subtext is made important at the end in the way that the main character is showing interest in the girl, showing an evolution in the confidence of his character. Also, there is a use of a light motif whenever the boy is looking towards the girl. Sound Bridge can be when the boy hears the sound of a bazinga and then looks over to the sound of the girls phone ringing. The foley work would be in the keyboard tapping, bazinga and the tap on his head. When the girl taps him on the head and tells him and the person next to her to move, then starts the rhythmic match with her closing his binder, picking it up, forcing him up get up, and pushing him down into his seat.
The idea is there but needs to be developed a bit further. Maybe think of a reason why the clicking of keyboards annoys him. Also show how he falls in love with her because in the treatment it is not very clear that he falls in love with her. Use some sound bridges in the film. Maybe he could be day dreaming in class when he is dreaming about her trying to get his attention and is calling his name but in reality it is his teacher calling on him to answer a question. This has to be further developed for it to meet the requirements.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ashley, the idea needs to be fleshed out a bit more for effect. Like, how can you use separate leitmotifs to characterize the boy and the girl? Or another suggestion would be, how does the boy overcome/not overcome his hatred of keyboard tapping? It's a good start, finish it with a good end.
ReplyDeleteI wonder where you're going to film this...
"Wanna hear a joke about my penis? ...Nevermind it's too long."
ReplyDelete"Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? ...Nevermind you won't get it."
I immediately thought of that when I read the "I'd tap that" joke.
I like where you're going with this idea, but like Ashley and Christian said (not to sound like a parrot or broken record but..) you need to develop how he dislikes the sound of keyboards. Maybe have him sleeping and then the tapping gets so loud he can't sleep in class, I dont know(dont use that, its a horrible idea). The characters need to be a little bit more developed to really get to a point, because to me it seems like the only conflict present is his dislike for keyboard sounds (which is resolved by the girl) and the girl herself (which is left open for interpretation and is good in its own way).
The leitmotifs are great, but like christian said need to be separate. The boy should have his own kind of "dreading" sound whilst the girl should either be surrounded by a romantic sound (to emphasize he likes her) or a characterization sound (to well, match her character and characterize her haha).
I like how you use the sound of keyboards though! Everyone notices them, but ignores it. I like how you take it to the next level and make a character that actually is irked by it! I never really thought about it before because I was so used to it! Great Idea :D
1. The intent of this scene is to show how people can change if they have someone there to help them through it.
ReplyDelete2. The plot points in this short film are showing the main character freaking out because of the noise of the keyboard, the boy noticing the girl and her helping him get over the noise of the keyboard.
3. The girl notices he’s afraid of the keyboard so she tries to help him get over it.
4. The girl makes a loud sound with the keyboard so he would get over the sound scaring him.
5. He gets over the sound and tries to joke around to get over the sound of the keyboard
6. The conclusion of the scene is the girl and boy are joking about the keyboard relating it to sex.
7. The girl pushes the story forward
8. The idea is there but needs to be developed a bit further. Maybe think of a reason why the clicking of keyboards annoys him. Why is he in a computer class if he does not like the sound of keyboards? Also show how he falls in love with her because in the treatment it is not very clear that he falls in love with her. Use some sound bridges in the film. Maybe he could be day dreaming in class when he is dreaming about her trying to get his attention and is calling his name but in reality it is his teacher calling on him to answer a question. This has to be further developed for it to meet the requirements.